Has the moon been singing to you this weekend?
She certainly has me, it’s been one of those intense
moontunes.. Saturday evening seen me reaching
for my dried up old tobacco and I haven’t smoked
for 3 year! It was 3 year to the day on 21 August..
I was so pleased with myself last weekend lol.
The old baccy has been on my shelf since
I stopped, cos this time I told myself that if I
wanted a fag I could have one..rather than
imposing lethal restrictions on myself...
which hasn’t worked in the past :)
Whenever I got intense cravings - even a few times
earlier this year - I’ve been satisfied with a deep sniff
from the baccy packet! And then, there was yesterday...
I was so intensely pissed off I got down my old mate
and rolled a wee fag :/ the baccy was so dry I managed
to light it without putting it to my lips.........and I just
sat there feeling a strange mixture of guilt
(even though I wasn’t actually taking a drag)
and pleasure at that grey aroma, as it’s cloudiness
enveloped me : ) Oooh the bliss.........
the whole event - right from pulling out the rizzla
- felt like a rather strange little ritual.
Even though I didn’t take a drag I still inhaled ;)
so have I actually had a fag??
and I’ve been quietly doodling...
Following the Breath
14 hours ago